Nerdstatus

My Year in Music

Nerdstatus — Mon, 16 Jan 2012 06:35:19 +0000

Posted from Live Oak, Texas, United States.

Going Forward

ChelliCious302's Xanga — Wed, 04 Jan 2012 00:05:15 +0000

love 2012.

Love 2012 lyrics found at elyricsworld.com

man i love that song. 3OH!3 absolutely knew what they were talking about when they wrote that song. I’m a little sporadic so if my syntax does not quite flow forgive me…just go with it. What i feel is that the feeling is mutual but oh dang is it joyous! I am bursting at the seams, almost itching to get on with the next adventure. a little apprehensive of the unknown but oh so very welcoming of it! like always. where will this path lead me? who will i meet? what will i do? why does it even matter? =) just keep swimming just keep swimming swimming swimming.

content? i’m not sure if that is the best word to describe the situation. maybe harmonious? at peace? accepting what is?

-chellin

Reflection

ChelliCious302's Xanga — Mon, 26 Dec 2011 12:06:55 +0000

on time. this year began and ended with new beginnings. A new life in a new city. An opportunity that couldnt be passssd. A step closer to the next step. An unexpected turn of events. A life changing realization. A decision to pursue hope in a hopeless place. A discovery of the self. A new finding of independence. incredible how short a time a year may be however it is enough time to bring about remarkable changes.

on life. how practical is it to live life as it was your last? I use to tell myself that if I were to die tomorrow I’d be ready. I’ve lived a life free of regret. But as I live post my previous life I find there were several regrets that were masked by content and falsified satisfaction. A quarter of my life has passed. And I shall spend the next quarter of my life filling the gaps I’ve neglected to even notice.

on myself. how am I not myself? A question from I heart huckabee that still boggles me to this day. How can one not be themselves? And who exactly can even define ones self? Is there any truth behind those who say they know you? The self is ever changing, adapting, evolving to survive, understand its environment. So it is foolish to say that one who is not you knows you when in fact you yourself are continually trying to understand your self. How could they know? Dang, should taken philosophy as a minor. Ha!

-chellin

Spoon Fed

ChelliCious302's Xanga — Sun, 11 Dec 2011 14:31:56 +0000

answers.retorical questions were expected to be answered. Irrelevant questions expected to have relevant answers. Rational questions were met with ambiguous answers. How genuine can a response be if my answer is fed to me? How can I begin answering your questions when I havent even questioned myself?

feelings. jaded, broken, confusion, content: these are a few elements that eroded the foundation I stood on. How could I hold anything up when the ground beneath me wears away? I fell through and latched on to the first signs of reassurance. My ability shaken, my conciousness muddled, my chest numb- I found the capacity to live in a hopeless place. Am I fooling myself to believe I deserved the best? Am I just simply so unphased that i live the present with Alzheimer’s? Faint memories of the past, just living in the present, no concept of the future.

no more. let me take flight! let me discover my own life! let me love that girl you say you love. let me feed myself.

-chelle

Now what…

ChelliCious302's Xanga — Fri, 02 Dec 2011 22:58:30 +0000

do I do? after the exhilarating liberation of the self I find myself dizzy with possibilities. There’s no obligated path to tread. There’s no expectation to be filled. There’s noone to please. Only myself. There’s only the path I decide to take. There’s only my expectation to fill. And finally there is only myself to please. What I do now will only reflect on and matter to me.

do I say? I’m not sure if there are words that are synonymous to the momentous emotions even I can’t even begin to describe. I’m not sure if there are words to explain what my human heart lacks to feel or beat. When my eyes rest upon your face registering your sad eyes do not take to offense if I seem unfazed by your dejected heart. (Oh that last line was cold.) Enjoy the silence. For it is the only sound that is pleasant to hear.

do I think? I’m still in this haze waiting for it to be lifted. By what? I’m not sure. If there is there anything at all that can even begin to make things clear? How do I begin to identify myself when all my soul searching was paired with another? Independence was stripped from me so long ago that returning to the time i knew it best would be out of context to me now. My perception must be re-learned. Hope this haze clears soon.

-chelles

Letting Go

ChelliCious302's Xanga — Tue, 22 Nov 2011 12:50:13 +0000

of uncertainty. if my palms could sweat they would have. My heart was beating out of my chest. My innards were twisting around itself when I lept from the edge. The edge my toes use to grasp, trying to cling on to the certainty of solid ground. But what else can they cling to when the edge crumbles away from you? Arms reaching forward, my eyes looking skyward embracing how free I am in uncertainty.

of insecurity. finding clarity is empowering. And that empowerment restored what was left of my confidence. No more judging eyes. No more assumptions. No more broken shells to walk on. With my security reestablished and confidence revived, I’m a new me. An evolved-from-all-my-experiences version of me. I have begun the path to rediscovering and loving myself once more.

chellin

Understanding of misunderstandings

ChelliCious302's Xanga — Wed, 26 Oct 2011 15:05:47 +0000

Of assumptions. If we “assume” the response is usually you’re making an ASS out of U and ME. Well, I truely believe that. However, does that go for expectation? If we “expect” is the response usually the same? What is the difference between assumption and expectation? When we assume is it driven by expectation? Or vise versa? Is it derived from Standards? Responsibility? Even more simple–respect? Where do we draw the line? Can the line even be drawn? Maybe it IS better to make no assumption or hold no expectation of the self, of others, of the world. Wow. Doesn’t that sound like the beginnings of mannequinism?.

of living. when in our lives do actually start “living”? Yes, technically at birth but when does our conscience self begin to live the elusive “fulfilling life”? Maybe life was meant to be short lived. That 25 shouldn’t be considered the prime but already half of your life. Can we blame our over populated and long lived society to the success of the industrial revolution? Thus can i blame our society’s success on my unwavering feeling of unproductivity? Cursing at myself that i am young and should be living?! Why am I talking about history? I suppose we’ll only know where we’ll go if we know where we’ve come from.

of love. Like every other naive person, I thought I knew what that was. I thought I understood the effort, the sacrifice of pure and true love. I misunderstood the levels of love. There is no one way to love as long as you love. “A new caring kind” I remember those words well. Maybe opening his heart is what led to mine closing. Love is kind and it is patient. And if that is what love is then everything else shouldnt matter.

-Chelle out

Dense Fog

ChelliCious302's Xanga — Wed, 26 Oct 2011 00:17:13 +0000

Routine. So the other day as i embarked on my hour commute to work, there was a dense fog that blanketed the roads and highways. The entire commute I could not see more than 5-10 feet in front of me. I couldn’t help but think how ironic this was, how perfectly it metaphorically personified what my life is. I see the road in front of me and vaguely specks of light from the cars passing by or those further ahead of me. I knew where i was suppose to go but my path was uncertain. It seems as though life is like that…exactly like that. Me driving in the fog alone listening to “im just a girl” by No Doubt.

Detour. i hate detours. waste of my time, effort,… everything! why are there detours? to keep us safe from some sort of impending danger? great. so they’re necessary. at least i’ll learn a new way to get to where i want to go.

Breaking light. Coincidentally, as soon as i got to work the fog lifted and the morning’s sun broke through…revealing my destination.

tryin to chell

2AM Confessions

ChelliCious302's Xanga — Thu, 13 Oct 2011 06:17:41 +0000

Sleepless. I couldn’t sleep…so I wrote.

“Here For You”
For my pop rox

As the day begins and the night settles in,
I will be here.

When you need a friend or someone to confide in,
I will be here.

When you need reassurance or a reminder of your brilliance,
I will be here.

If you need the strength or some where to complain,
I will be here.

If the clouds come rolling in and you need someone to make you grin,
I will be here.

When you need a good laugh or inspiration for your craft,
I will be here.

If you need an opinion of honesty or someone to hold you so tenderly,
I will be here.

When life seems at its worst and you need to know what it’s worth,
I will be here.

Though time has tested us continually,
despite my crazy emotional manic polarity,
which coincidentally is the root of unnecessary calamity,

I will always be here for you…

…to love you as much as my heart can give.
…to love you every day that I live.

-M. Dela Cruz

Infographic: 10 Ways to Stop Wasting Water

Nerdstatus — Thu, 25 Aug 2011 17:30:00 +0000

When it comes to getting clean water at home, most of us turn on the tap and don't give it a second thought. But for nearly one billion people, finding clean water is a daily struggle. Lack of access in their homes or their community can cause a multitude of health, economic, and quality of life problems. For those of us fortunate enough to have clean water access, it's more important than ever to help conserve this important resource.

It's estimated that a family of four can survive on 3 gallons of water a day but in America, a household of four uses up to 400 gallons of water a day. Check out this infographic to learn about the top culprits for water waste and how fixes both small and large can significantly shrink your water footprint at home.